.my name is Nur Ainaa.
.and i have an anger management problem.
everybody: hye ainaaaaaaaa ~
counselor: ok ainaa. share with us whats been bothering you
ainaa: i get angry very easily
counselor: understood.....explain more plss
ainaa: i am a very sensitive person, so thats why i tend to get angry or stress up whenever things doesn't go the way i wanted it to be.especially with people who i care and love the most.
counselor: can you give us an example ?
ainaa: i can give you hundreds of example, coz i get angry almost every single day. for example, my boyfriend was mad at me and it is obviously my fault (i think). but i yelled at him, and even cursed him at some point and i accidentally hit him. ;(
everybody: haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ~~
ainaa: i know......i felt so bad..but because i feel bad..i didn't apologize...but i intentionally be moody for like the next couple of days. just to get his attention...i bug him when hes with his friends. i bug him when hes sleeping and so on...now i came to my senses...coz he's just being cool...i now came to realize that he's just being angry with me because of me..my attitude..baby im sorry...i know that you have your limits..n its my fault for keep on provoking you...i know you love me..and i hope u know that i love you too so much !
counselor: its a good sign when you realized it yourself. is your boyfriend the one person that you get angry with? whats the most hurtful thing you've encountered in your life?
ainaa: no.i am angry with everyone. and its not like i didn't try.i've tried my best to control my anger.my emotion. trust me.i've tried so bad...but you see....like i said..my heart is soooo fragile..i don't like when people do things that hurts me..coz ive been hurt like many times...and my mom is not here with me anymore.usually, when people do bad things to me. i'll talk to her. and it calms me down.but now..i just go to my boyfriend but its never the same.when my mom passed away. she took half of my everything..my heart.my soul.my love.everything.it hurt me so bad. i don't know who to blame. who to go to.
counselor: you missing your mom is the reason for your problem. anger is the way you protect yourself. you don't want to get hurt coz you've experienced the most hurtful things in your life. and you go to your boyfriend but whatever he does never satisfies you because you was hoping the same outcome as when you talk to your mom. your heart is fragile.you cries easily..thats because you don't cry your heart out when your mom left you. you were shocked and taken off guard by it.
ainaa: hmmmm ~ sobbing ~
counselor: there's many way to talk to your mom. you're a Muslim.talk to her through your prayer.or you can just write it down.she's around you know.shes always around you.but you can't see her. as you write everything down..your anger or sadness will be transfered to the paper. as for your boyfriend. don't be too harsh on him. try to be nice and talk nicely even when you guys are arguing. its never a good thing when fire meets with fire. do you understand ainaa?
ainaa: yes..i understand.. i promise to change. i promise to be more calm. i promise to try harder.
everybody: good ainaa...we're proud of you...
*the conversation is just between me and myself ;P hehehehe